1. I refer to the event simply as a wedding, as opposed to a “gay” wedding or “lesbian” wedding or “same sex” wedding because I believe marriages are marriages and weddings are weddings, and it’s 2013.
2. I’ve edited the text slightly, removing the welcome and introduction (for privacy and length), as well as removing the last names of the brides (since virtually none of you know them).
3. thank you for your kind words of encouragement last week as I freaked out a bit as the day grew close… apparently I did alright, since I had 4 (four!!) job offers as officiant for future weddings before the reception was over (including the wedding coordinator who wants to “pimp” me out at “$500 a pop!”).
4. in the interest of full disclosure, there are two short sections where I borrowed (re-stated or paraphrased) portions from widely available wedding ceremony texts found online, but the rest is mine (other than the Good Will Hunting and Leonard Cohen quotes… duh).
5. if you’re interested, the text follows the ‘read more’ link, below:
The roof appears to be leaking, or perhaps I’m chopping some onions
I don’t know where the right got this idea that marriage is about procreation. It was never about procreation. Originally it was about property rights, when women were property. At some point that got embarrassing and it became about mutual devotion — to have and to hold, in sickness and in…
The whole procreation argument is a post hoc reasoning for people who desperately want us to be half a citizen but don’t want to feel bad about it.
Consider how textbooks treat Native religions as a unitary whole. The American Way
describes Native American religion in these words: “These Native Americans [in the Southeast] believed that nature was filled with spirits. Each form of life, such as plants and animals, had a spirit. Earth and air held spirits too. People were never alone. They shared their lives with the spirits of nature.” Way
is trying to show respect for Native American religion, but it doesn’t work. Stated flatly like this, the beliefs seem like make-believe, not the sophisticated theology of a higher civilization. Let us try a similarly succinct summary of the beliefs of many Christians today: “These Americans believed that one great male god ruled the world. Sometimes they divided him into three parts, which they called father, son, and holy ghost. They ate crackers and wine or grape juice, believing that they were eating the son’s body and drinking his blood. If they believed strongly enough, they would live on forever after they died.” Textbooks never
describe Christianity this way. It’s offensive. Believers would immediately argue that such a depiction fails to convey the symbolic meaning or the spiritual satisfaction of communion.
Lies My Teacher Told Me, James Loewen (via whoistorule)
You know how it goes: the pervasive media mythology tells us that the fight over the schoolhouse is supposedly a battle between greedy self-interested teachers who don’t care about children and benevolent billionaire “reformers” whose political activism is solely focused on the welfare of kids. Epitomizing the media narrative, the Wall Street Journal casts the latter in sanitized terms, re-imagining the billionaires as philanthropic altruists “pushing for big changes they say will improve public schools.”
The first reason to scoff at this mythology should be obvious: it simply strains credulity to insist that pedagogues who get paid middling wages but nonetheless devote their lives to educating kids care less about those kids than do the Wall Street hedge funders and billionaire CEOs who finance the so-called “reform” movement.
Getting rich off of schoolchildren - Salon.com (via rachelfershleiser)
Yet another reason I side-eye the charter school movement. (via stfuconservatives)
We buy stuff to cheer ourselves up, to keep up with the Joneses, to fulfill our childhood vision of what our adulthood would be like, to broadcast our status to the world, and for a lot of other psychological reasons that have very little to do with how useful the product really is. How much stuff is in your basement or garage that you haven’t used in the past year?
Your Lifestyle Has Already Been Designed | Thought Catalog
This is a very fine examination of our culture of work and consumerism. As with all great work, it will make you very uncomfortable. At least it should.
Great post, ill need to read it again when I get a job
During many ages there were witches. The Bible said so. The Bible commanded that they should not be allowed to live. Therefore the Church, after doing its duty in but a lazy and indolent way for eight hundred years, gathered up its halters, thumbscrews, and firebrands, and set about its holy work in earnest. She worked hard at it night and day during nine centuries and imprisoned, tortured, hanged, and burned whole hordes and armies of witches, and washed the Christian world clean with their foul blood.
Then it was discovered that there was no such thing as witches, and never had been. One does not know whether to laugh or to cry. Who discovered that there was no such thing as a witch — the priest, the parson? No, these never discover anything. At Salem, the parson clung pathetically to his witch text after the laity had abandoned it in remorse and tears for the crimes and cruelties it has persuaded them to do. The parson wanted more blood, more shame, more brutalities; it was the unconsecrated laity that stayed his hand. In Scotland the parson killed the witch after the magistrate had pronounced her innocent; and when the merciful legislature proposed to sweep the hideous laws against witches from the statute book, it was the parson who came imploring, with tears and imprecations, that they be suffered to stand. There are no witches. The witch text remains; only the practice has changed. Hell fire is gone, but the text remains. Infant damnation is gone, but the text remains. More than two hundred death penalties are gone from the law books, but the texts that authorized them remain.
Mark Twain (via azspot)
Family” is the euphemistic code du jour
for “Evangelical Christian.” “Focus on the Evangelical Christian” and the “American Evangelical Christian Association” didn’t have the same zing to them as their familiar twins. The watchword for these organizations is the preservation of “traditional family values,” which are, in a nutshell, white American family values from a period of 1939 to 1964. The family values constituency longs for a return to the virginal time before the Civil Rights movement, the Women’s Liberation Movement, the Vietnam War, the War on Poverty, the War on Drugs, John Lennon, and Rock Hudson made the world a more complicated place.
When I read the Bible, I get the distinct sense that Jesus wasn’t interested in saving the nuclear family from a windy onslaught of liberal opinions. I rather get the impression that he was concerned with diving headfirst into the unvarnished messiness of the human condition and saving us—as individuals, as families, as communities, as people
—from our own unhinged self-absorption and festering lovelessness.
Idolatry of the Family (via azspot)